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Well, i jsut got back this evening from Tioman. Very tired... Pretty long post cos I cant be bothered to collage the pics... It was a fun trip though less some jackass who decided that training is more important and finally fell sick afterall. Worse... still being sick was still training when i last spoke to him! He deserve to fall sick! What an ass! ::snortz:: Anyway, am really really tired... wont be writing much about the trip, so just see pics....


Preparing for a backroll....


After backroll.....


In the water


Monica and me


Mark (e one behind) and me


Trying to pose for a pic but to no avail


During certification








Sea Urchins... Ouch!!!


NEMO!!!!




Lion Fish
















Fire Coral




Stone fish i think




Starfish








Jelly fish... So pretty...


Wreck



-ciaoz-

Hmm.... the last few days been a whirl.... Anger, disappointment, disagreement, naginess and many more were just some of the feelings. Once again, i succumbed to my own weakness and apologised for something that I did not thought I was in the wrong. Sigh... See, like I said, always the one who puts in the effort. Ya maybe some will say friendship aint important, but it is definitely always the most important aspect to me. :(

Spent some time helping out Ah Ber with his work, and only managed to complete 1 completely for him, with the copy of the flyer that is. The other 2, I really do not know wad to write for the copy, simply cos I do not have the information. Oh well... But here it is... A flyer for Backpackers Target Audience.



Am leaving for Tioman tonight to get my open water certification. Kinda excited about it.... Am afraid I would have a phobia whilst out in the open sea. Hopefully that would not happen though I was pretty comfortable under the water whilst at Safra. ;) Well, my fren is sick as well... So I duno if he would be coming along, but definitely I would go with my bro and his friends. A pretty fun bunch to hang out with I must say...

Well.... I do hope to return with loads of pictures and my certification! ;) Till den....

-ciaoz-

Ok, went for my dive pool ytd.... Its pretty fun! Think i might enjoy diving afterall. Though initially i had to swim so much with the fins on, it feels weird. Damn tiring. But under the water, its alright. But i made a decision, which I hope i would not regret. I bought a mask!!!!!! Its nice, pretty cool.... But costly? Hopefully I would really enjoy diving so this would be a good investment! Hahaha! Here it is:


From scubapro!

Yupz, anyway, its my birthday, and I feel damn sad still. Tmr was suppose to be my off, however, I still have to sail. Rather was kinda forced to sail? Yupz.... Pretty peeved. And just wanna have dinner with a close fren... Tts all I ask for... But training is more important. I mean probably I would not even be around for the next 2-3 years, is it so hard to jsut haf dinner with me? Is training really more important den me? Gosh..... Hoping that my friend would be the first to wish me happy birthday, but apparently, not!!!!

I feel damn upset! Really really upset. After all that I have done, such a day is so insignificant! I cannot believe this! I give up, i really give up! I have told myself, that I would stop after the last assignment, and I would! I really would!!!! I HATE U!!!!

-crying-

I am so tired... So tired of always doing things for others. So tired of always the one putting in the effort. I know i said this before, but I am really really tired. I tot I was just being irritated on impulse the last time. But I really really am tired and irritated.... The stupid things that I would go all out to do for others, sometimes just aint worth it. But sometimes is it so hard jsut asking to be reciprocated at times. I dun need reciprocation everytime, but at least sometimes? Am tired of just hearing "thanks" and "I appreciate it". Some things need more den just words and not action.

I cant seem to be able to joke or talk or laugh with some people anymore though we always had alot to talk to and laugh or even joke about. Someone I can share my problems with, but I guess.... Some things change. One that I thought had loads in common with me, probably do not share what I feel or think, but rather share feel or think with others.... Am i jealous? Maybe.... I duno. I jsut feel stupid....

Am so tired that I wanna cry....

-ciaoz-

It has been a tiring 3 days to date. Loads of walking around Changi Base... Its so far and hot! The weather has been exceptionally unkind to me as well. Extreme hot sun and torrential rain. Grrr..... Some of the rates got into some trouble as well and woke me up int he middle of the night on the first day of my duty.... Got woken up aint by the ship but by the police. Yikes.

Watching some mandarin show about the typical life of Singapore men, showing men in the early 20s being married with a kid, an eligible bachelor and a married man in his 40s. Falling in love with people you noe tt somehow you cant be together is a horrible feeling. Sigh....

Anyway, today has been good with loads of final interactions with the Royal Navy. I REALLY MISS THE SHORT TIME I HAD WITH THE ROYAL NAVY. Anyway, ya, did extend an invitation out to the ship to club tonight if they want, well they are pretty fickle so I just gave them the address of the various clubs. Anyway, duno if tonight I am still going out. Did drink quite abit today and now drinking whilst waiting for a friend. Well I found a new good fren, another AO, LTA LI MINGLUN. Haha, studied in the UK for the past few years, and actually I found out tt we could click. Hmmm, had quite a bit to talk about. Well, when one loses something, like a good fren, I think he tend to find another. ;) So till den...

-ciaoz-

Loads of stuff happened when I returned to ship ytd for duty! Gosh, tot I would be pretty free so I could have a nap since I stayed up the night before. Oh well, ended up having loads of stuffs to do. So... Oh well... Anyway, tmr HMS WESTMINSTER would be at Changi, cant wait to go onboard cos I miss the Royal Navy so much! Haha! Kinda weird.... Alright, dun feel like blogging tonight actually... But here is a lyrics that is so emotional... Just like me eh?

Seems like it was yesterday
when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were
but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
I would hold you in my arms
I would take away the pain

Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wanna do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you
but I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you
for everything I just couldn't do
And I hurt myself by hating you
Somedays I feel broke inside
but I won't admit

Sometimes I just want
to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye
when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I want to do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and
see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you
for everything I just couldn't do
And I've had myself
If I had just one more day,
I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous
It's so I'm afraid to try to turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you
for everything I just couldn't do
And I've had myself

By hurting you

-ciaoz-

Hmmm.... rehearsals for the coming joint exercise opening ceremony was a waste of time again. Geez... Duno why there is so much time wasted for such events. Grrr.... This is terrible, cos I cant sail with my ship. I haven been sailing much with them for the past 3 weeks, and I kinda feel terribly bad about it. Hmmm, though I dun feel terribly guilty as well cos I made up for the loss of time doing duty. Haha

Today, my ship was like suppose to have only a day sail, but kinda some ops requirement to sail overnight. Hmmm, made me feel worse. Plus, I am still waiting for a reply on what time I am required at base. Oh well, I guess I would just go at the same usual time of 0730hrs. Hmmm, if my ship aint back yet, I would just proceed and do my own personal admin stuffs such as claims and etc....

It has been only erm, 2 days and I can already feel the longing. Hmmm, this time, I guess I am pretty serious. Sigh, I dun wan to start getting all into it and being serious, but.... Its hard to control one's emotions I guess. Am at a loss. My godma's company having a Dinner and Dance on 22nd Sept, and I wanna go so much. But it was also the weekend that I was supposed to go for my open water. What should I do? The open water I wanna go as much cos I promised to go with a fren and our leave has already been approved. But my bro and his frens wanna go on the 9th as well. Which I dun mind going.... Grrr..... I guess, I would leave the decision with my fren. Cest La Vie...

-ciaoz-