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i am going on bld(basic leader development) tomorrow liaoz. will be outfield like the good old army days which have left me in a daze. its like almost 9pm now, and i wanna sleep by 10 without studying for my test on sat which consist of 20 rules, and i have not packed my bag. ya, one will be wondering why am i online now instead of packing my bag, well, some royal marine guy later will come and teach us how to pack, and just a slight note, my field bag will be like 40kg, tt is like 2/3 my weight la! sigh! i am looking forward to it cos it reminds me of army days but the preparation we had to go thru, its hell! i guess its the cos of being away from the army too long!

army had been one of the most fun time in my life where i have met more people and made more good frens. since i entered OCS, there was the 7 closest buddies amongst us, and out of which 2 came along with me to the navy and my bestest of fren, victor, is still in the infantry section. well, the both tt are with me, one haf drifted really far, and i feel really sad. from being one of the closest to me and probably then my bestest of fren, he changed so much and haf drifted so much from me. i feel sad thinking about it and missed those times we had together.

army had changed my life too, making me a whole new different person, i guess its the influence that these army blokes had on me, and now being in UK, made me another different person. i am starting to adopt their slang, but not their accent. no worries! haha! its like being in a whole new environment where you just have to adapt in the hope that you will be accepted. which i guess i am, cos i seem to gain alot more respect den michael did from our division mates. i guess i am pretty successful here except for academics. sigh, i hope it gets better, but dun seem like it though.

anyway, as usual, missing frens, family, cara and my best fren. sigh, hope i will get thru bld with good results cos we will be accessed on our leadership qualities. i cannot afford to throw singapore face somemore since my last test! i must show em tt we are of quality. :P i wanan sleep by 10 too tonight! HOPEFULLY!

-ciaoz-

right, yesterday was my rules of the road test and i could not remember much of those i memorised. i have another 20 rules test next friday and i would be outstation. i duno where am i gonna find time to study. and i reckon that i am the first singaporean here who had failed. rounds today was ok, still slightly home sick and we had field training today. was running up and down the hill and amongst the bloody mud. Michael division however did not run through the mud, so bloody unfair. sigh! my boots are in a bad condition, i am so sad la. homesick, missing cara, missing chinese food, missing frens, i feel depressed! sigh! i hope things would get better

I am sorry i haven updated my blog, look like this is pretty unsuccessful, not many people reading. anyway, its just to update my closest fren such as jeremy and stuff. where is my princess cara? i miss u so much! ;( ok, i have no time to talk, just to post pics up here today.

mood: BAD!!!!

what happened: lil aaron was left out while he released the stern rope for his own yatch. coswain left him behind on another yatch. whilst helping others on the yatch, someone knocked into him and his sunglasses went into the water

that is all!

-ciaoz-

Today got river lessons. basically it is what i have learnt back in singapore! :p easy, however, i must say that the motor wailers (layman term: boat) is easier to handle. Sorry i forgot to take pictures, i will remember to bring my camera out again. Aiyer, it is not always possible to bring camera out la.

There is this tragic thing, it is practically impossible for me to acces web messenger and i do not know why. It is making me lose my patience. Sigh, lectures were like damn boring and I have to memorise some rules of the road which is pretty similar to driving test theories, however, over here, i have to memorise them word for word, comma for comma, full stop for full stop. Sigh, and i have long long ten different rules split up into various parts to memorise. How am i gonna do that???? As it is, i have only memorise only rule 1 and it aint perfect as yet, and next wednesday is the test. sigh, no more sad stuffs from me, making me more depressed. I missed home and i cant wait to go home! ;''(

Anyway, rounds was good (in case you forget, rounds are checking every part of your bed, cupboards and stuffs, have to be really ironed neat and tidy and uniformity). They stopped asking me really nuisance questions and i am so far as many say, the most knowledgeable amonst many (as expected of singaporeans). So this lady who walks by will say "now the most difficult question for you as usual is ...." and i am so expected to run to look for the answer. Guess its for my own good! alright no more from me, see if i have the mood for something abstract tomorrow.

-ciaoz-

Yay, i cleared my 2.4 run today. i did it in 10min58sec. Ya, not very good to u guys but its perfect to me! :P It was just nice today, weather was perfect, rounds was not too bad, i still remained the most knowledgeable in my division still. Haha (self praise is international disgrace) But thats what my seniors said!

Anyway, tired, I am snacking alot alot alot! Its like 2222hr now, I so am gonna sleep by 2300hr! Well, i am always to sleep in my division. I guess its trying to upkeep what my Singapore batch mate always trying to make us do! Audy, you rock! :p Anyway i am putting on weight definitely! its worse den the after effects of Singapore's MSTD. I am like weighing 65kg now. But no worries, in like 7 weeks time, i will force Michael to hit the gym with me. Imagine running on the treadmill and listening to my ipod and doing weights after that? Well, i am determined to have a nice body! Yay!

Oh on wednesday, i can go out yatching for sports! I so am gonna pick up as much sea sports as possible, say diving, surfing, yatching and sailing! Till i have more interest, i would try to go as much as possible. Anyway, I am so hoping to return to Singapore for my 21st birthday. It would be summer break den for a month, but i aint sure if i can leave as yet! Alright, that is all folks!

-ciaoz-

Hey, finally can update myself here! yay! I am so sorry for the late update, you know, its like so hard to get the internet connection working for the first week, so now i am using my seniors account to update everyone! I AM SO SORRY! well, frankly, life is B-O-R-I-N-G! I am depressed, but, I have to remain cheerful right? ok, so we reach London Heathrow Airport and we had to take a train down to paddington station which cost £14 (go calculate youself how much that cost in Singapore Dollars, I am lazy!) and the ride only last for like 10 min? Ok, so we reach paddington station and we had to take a train to Totnes which was to last for 4 hours and it cost me £47. Here is the picture:



We were expected to reach Totnes at like 1630hr so we went to walk around London, sheez, it was really cold! And the food there was like so expensive! Imagine paying like £8 for a subway meal, and subway was the cheapest there!!!!!!! Argh! Went around, went to borders and went shopping for story books again (cos i felt i would be really bored) and please do not ask me anythign about Harry Porter, it is a worldwide launch, go order yours from Singapore Borders.

Finally, we just crashed at Paddington (and they got really nice paddington bears there which i cant find in Singapore anymore, will get one for Cara :P). Read my book and oh well took the train like at 1305hr which was like about 2005hr in Singapore. So we reach Totnes and we waited for an hour without getting any tranport which was supposed to be indented for us, so we ended up having to take a cab to the College. The ride was about 20 mins and it costs us like £25. Sheez! I do not remember paying so much for cab in Singapore even with midnight surcharge la! Anyway, the town for dartmouth is like deadboring! Sigh! Here is Dartmouth.



So I reached the college, and settled down, and there was nothing to do! Sigh, everyday it is eat and eat and just do ironing! And the temperature here is like freezing. It like never reaches about 10 degrees everyday and every morning and evening is dead cold! sigh! We were having parade training the last 2 days and the parade ground is on a hilltop. Making things worse, it was raining and the wind was damn strong, and i was chattering and grinding on my teeth away lo! sigh! I feel damn depressed thinking about it! Everynight, there is nothing but rounds, and everyone expects so much of Singaporeans. I remember my chief asking me if I knew this and that and i replied, "Umm... I think so" and his reply to me was "You better know it!" Sigh.



But no worries, things would get better and I might be a walking Rules of the Road soon! I have to go and memorise the whole book which I could only memorise rule 1a now! Sigh! Ok la, i been complaining alot. Now for praises. Well, i do like some of the food, oh there are cheese and crackers for every lunch and I love them so much. I love the cheese! Not forgetting pasta as well! hehe! Michael been very nice to me la, though we are in different divisions, we still enjoyed doing our PT sessions together! Haha, and we were forced to wrestle with each other, and definitely you can guess that I am the one who loses cos he is damn tall and huge la! (oh, btw Michael is the other chinese you can see in the photos above)

Alright, no more from me, its such a long entry, till then...........

-ciaoz-

"Yes Mr Aaron, your seat number would be 31F and 31G. You have to check in for your boarding pass 1 hour earlier". The distinct voice lingers in my head amidst the headache I have from last night drinking. Yesterday pretty pretty steaf asked me out to zouk, and man was it boring! sheez.

Oh there was this china lady who was dancing like a "crazy bitch" she was like in red spegattie top, denim long skit and sneakers! and she was dancing so crazily, i was like, "oh my god, is this how ppl from the mainland dance?" ok, i noe i sound mean, but if u were there, you would agree whole heartedly. Den i met another lady, she was dancing like grouchy gwenne. When i saw there, i actually called her gwenne but when she turned around, it was gwenne! haha! this is so stereotype but what can i do? haha!

But the best of last night was when i saw a girl i picked up before. She was in cap, she looked so cute, but, it was like kind of embarassing! I was like, i did not dare to wanna look at her and steaf was like asking me to approach her saying, "hey, i picked you up before, you remember me? am aaron here". Oh my god, do ppl actually keep in touch with people that they picked up, especially at clubs? And to make matter worse, i do not even remember her name! geez! i think gals hate jerks like me! But sometimes, dun it take both hands to clap?

Oh, my ex manager, Doris from BDO gave me a treat last nite at Al Dente Tattotria at esplanade if i did not spell it wrongly. I had a bad experience there before when i dined there with my cousin. The pasta was like clumped together and tasted soggy! Ewwwww...... but the steak changed my mind. The beef cheeks is really really good! its so tender and yummy. Actually i did not order that, Doris did. I ordered a sirloin steak which i loved the mushroom sauce! But i ate like half of Doris's beef cheek. Haha! What a glutton! The strawberry cheesecake is so yummy as well! it was soft and smooth. The strawberry jelly beneath was not too sweet and the strawberry sauce was damn yummy la! Gosh, its like damn sinful lo, but who gives a shit!

Tonight, its dinner with Cara at Saint Pierre Restaurant! Will try to snap pictures la! Haha! Till den.....

-ciaoz-

Time is really moving so fast, its scaring me! The past few days was a whirl as i zapped in and out of camp to settle the administrative stuffs. Finally, it all ended yesterday at about 4pm and me saying my final goodbyes to everybody via the e-mail. It was one of the longest e-mail that i wrote to my batch boys and the tears seeped up my eyes unknowingly, however, still manageable.

It was also a time for me to express my thanks to my officers and instructors, and my juniors as well. What touched me so much was my division juniors really could not bear me leaving the wingline as I bid my farewell. Gosh, there is so many things that is holding me back.

But in life, everything changes and one have to be flexible. Nothing stays constant. For me, I am moving forwards into another stage where I would learn many more, and therefore, it is there for me to go. Probably I have started doubting my military standing as to whether I have done well or have i not. But since i am given this opportunity, it is to my own effort to make the best use of it. As i used to tell myself, "if got chance to travel, den travel la". This is the best chance for me now, and I should start saving alot alot of money to go backpacking there.

Now I be on my way to CMPB to collect my air ticket and visa. Sigh. I wish things aint simple, but anyway, I can do my favourite passtime of shopping later. Got stuffs to get and i am determind to spend alot alot of money today though i spent like a thousand the pass week on drinks and food. God Bless ME! sheez!

-ciaoz-

A poem i came across the internet that i wanna say it to Cara. I realise, i am a person with lil words these days, but i duno why is this so! Sigh. I guess this poem expresses what i feel like saying right now!

To say you are my world means:
That when I look at the sky
I see your face,
And when I pause alone at the window
I feel your hands on my back.

It means:
That the beauty of a garden
Is half in the words I think to you;
That winter is my fear of losing you,
And that spring is the hope I never will.

It means:
That I have taken the risk of wrapping my life
So completely around yours
That the beauty of a late summer evening is
Inseparable from the beauty of our love.

-ciaoz-

I will be leaving in a weeks time. It is scary how time passes as if i entered OCS only yesterday. When i first entered MIDS wing, it was bad. I had with me only 2 close frens whom we shared everything together and as time passed, me and sampan grew stronger with the batch and we started to bond with many others bringing along new friends and buddies into our lives. The term passed and another term came where we went sailing for a month.

As many instructors said, "This is the first batch with 5 loading and unloading, the first to have failed a simple test, the first to have comex when it rained, the first time when we sailed to have snow and the first time to sail in sea state 5" We seemed to have hit the first for everything. Just before we left, i got news that i was selected for the dartmouth course and of course i was excited. Just as i tot that it would take a while and i be really fine there, i was suddenly proven wrong. It was like, as time drew nearer, I became more and more afraid of flying there. Though my fren Michael would be there, it aint so much as the same where you have gone through everything with the 53rd batch and bonding so much. One would have to start anew there and bond again.

What is freaking me out is, the fear of racism. It aint the same where it is a multi racial country and if things go wrong, who is gonna put up with me like my batch boys and stuffs. Well, my course officer Maj Tan asked me and Mic for our comments, and before i could finish my 3rd sentence, tears welled up in my eyes and i was unable to carry on. To the 53rd LION DIVISION, you have been the best in my life. It was you guys who pulled me through this 5 months in MIDS wing and my heart goes out with you especially when you commission.

Ok, this is getting a lil way off for an intro entry! haha! -ciaoz-