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September 2010

appeal has failed! end of phase report is out! from the best trainee in the division, to just a C grade trainee! all because of the ACE exercise! it has been confirmed, i need to go back to the mountains again and i hate it! i just hate it! everything is going wrong and i have no idea why!

i still do not understand why i failed! i am still very depressed! no one understands and i have no authorities tt i can talk to and try to rectify the situation! its so bloody unfair! i haf lost faith, trust and confidence in everything.

Before anyone says anythign or jump to conclusion, here is the senerio!

On the 2nd day of ACE, i injured my right ankle due to my knees and i sprained it! i sprained it 3 times in a row. By the third day, i could not walk. I was taken off for a while for medical support which they claimed its not serious! So my right ankle and knees were strapped up and i was sent back to join my team on exercise.

Of which during the exercise, i overdosed myself with painkillers and i ran and walked really fast for most of the task. The fact i failed was i did not put in enough effort. The thing is, if i did not put in effort by moving really fast and probably ran on some of the remaining task, is this not considered putting in effort? Or if i was a burden to my team, they should have just left me at the medical centre or pulled me outta exercise. By running and aggravating my ankle now, is this no effort put in?

Is this a reasonable argument that i did not put in effort? I think this system is ridiculous. Even if i have to put on a show, i have put on a show by running probably not as fast as i am fit, but did i not even run? I dun wanna keep explaining this and its ridiculous! I am devastated again as it is!

Yes, i may have well gone on to phase 2 without me being back phased, but i have to go up to the mountains again to carry on with this exercise 7 weeks later! so for those who thinks i am not putting in enough effort as wad the bloody accessor said, den carry on with it!

i failed my exercise cos they say i have no team skills!

u noe wad, i got back my 2nd rules of the road test result! i got only 78%!!!! ya, i did pass but there is this gal who got 84! which means i no longer am the best in class! sigh! and another bad news, they had some discussion over our new cabins for the next phase and they completely left me out la! wtf lo! ang moh ppl! loads of crap and stupid ppl!

imagine walking into the cabin and ppl speaking right next to each other, but they speak as if they are miles apart! all the screaming and stuff! wth la! den the gals, whine the whole day, whine more den me! damn cbz la! gosh, i am so pissed off this morning, i cant stop the vulgarities from coming out! geez!

right back to the topic! so they left this outcast ang moh guy, one kuwaitii and myself. and out of these, one of us would have the single cabin and i want my bloody privacy so much, i put my name down as single cabin! and before i knew it, even the kuwaitii guy dun wanna share cabin with tt outcast. and being mr nice as usual, i just had to bunk it with tt kuwaitii! sigh!

and i tried to purchase a stupid phone from vodafone online, and the bloody webby dun wanna accept my card la!!!!!!!!!!!!! cccccbz la!

absolutely pissed -ciaoz-

right, i just got back from bld like on thurs and could not find time to blog. or probably more caught up with talking and chatting. bleahz. anyway, the bld assessment is such, weak, just satisfactory, satisfactory, very satisfactory and strong. well, i expected a very satisfactory grading, but i screwed up my first task and got a weak for it. but overall, i got a satisfactory assessment.

bld was bad, it was like on the college grounds and it was really cold. i was shivering the whole day even with my jackets on. but bld was a bad experience as well cos i lost an issued item, i lost a huge shackle which i had no idea how did it go missing since it was in my backpack. i am so in trouble, i do not know how much does it cost to replace it. sigh! military stuffs are always expensive.well, thank god it is over, but the worse is yet to come. the actual assesment would be the following week and it would assess if i am gonna pass this phase and be passed in officially into the college. the exercise is called assessed command exercise. it would be held at dartmoore, and its a mountain. its gonna be freezing and we would be climbing up the mountains from checkpoint to checkpoint. not forgetting my 30-40kg backpack. sigh, the thought of it makes it dreadful.

i got back my first rule of the road test results, i was the only one in my divison who passed with a result of 72%. this is really bad. mic had 93% and tt is cos he had like an additional week to study and i practically gave him all the questions. hmmm, not finding excuses for myself, but just stating a fact. had my 2nd test ytd, and i think i screwed it up again. i keep screwing things up of late.

i just wanna have a good break. mic went out on his sailing trup ytd though and yupz, guessed he had fun as he said. ytd i had lotsa time, i spent a long long time chatting with cara. yay! happy. and today after church, the chartwork lesson was like cancelled though it was in our time table. so i was like teaching the internationals students how to do em and ya, hopefully they understood. and finally i had time to read my storybooks. haha! after such a logn time, but i fell asleep though and had a good 1.5hrs nap today.

right, guessed tts all for now!

-ciaoz-