Friday, February 24, 2006
It has been snowing here for the past few days. Weird, where spring is about to start. I been having dreams, dreams of my crush! This aint good! Its weird, probably thinking alot on my crush! Oh well..... Really tired. 9 more days to MARL, really really worried now!
-ciaoz-
fallen @ 8:43 PM
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Well, aint exactly long... The whole bridge simulator lesson for the whole morning till lunch was cancelled! What a pity, it is the like most fun lesson held in the college. Oh well.... Its pretty cold today as well! Well, i havent complained about the cold for a long time, and i went gig rowing this afternoon for sports. Well, rowing is interesting, but it was really shivering cold out there! Till now, all my fingers ache from the cold! sigh! Boring and long day! 11 more days to MARL! the heart beats faster as the day passes!
Well, I have been praising or talking alot about my Division, but what I have left out, is the other Division which I was not in charge of. BENBOW Division. Well, they aint a great bunch when i first saw them, but as time passed, i realised that they were a bunch of great kids as well. Its like, though i aint in charge of them, i feel something for them. Everytime i talk to my Division and joke with them, I would expect some from BENBOW to join in? And almost every drinking session includes them.
One particular member who tug a heart string of mine is someone called ROFE. Well, he is a joker from BENBOW then, and i can remember my 3rd or 4th time doing rounds with my Division and yelling across the room at him. He aint exactly my Division, so it was pretty wrong. But i do remember yelling something close to "Is it so funny? Why are you laughing? You better show some respect". It just sounded so wrong at the time, I mean, I aint the sorta who would yell at someone about respect. Afterall respect is about gaining them though things you do and not through your rank. Oh well.
Anyway, as i was having a break today, ROFE spoke to me as usual. And i just realise, that loads of my memories are kept in here, but I have not mentioned anythign about him. So I guess, this would be one of the memories that would aid me after leaving Dartmouth.
MR MOULD is the other joker of BENOW! Great kid, witty and funny! Knows when to lick your boots and to avoid trouble! Erm, not adivsable to lick others boots, but he is the sorta who knows he would get intro trouble should he not pay lip service. Haha, and on few ocassions, his methods backfired and he got bitched by me instead! Haha!
These are the memories! Well, I have not decided on sharing this lil memoire aid as yet! ;)
-ciaoz-
fallen @ 7:49 AM
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
The greatest satistfaction that one can achieve (according to me) is when your Division tells you that you "will always be my CADO". Or rather, having two various Divisions telling you that must have been the greatest feeling according to me. I would never have expected that my Divisions, would have said that to me.
Well, there is two possibilities of course! Either they are paying you lip service or they meant it. But i guess, it was a sincere comment made. It definitely made my day, especially hearing that from my favourite cadet. It meant that I have done my previous appointments well, and probably do deserve the praise! Well, narcissistic of course, but who would not wanna hear that?
But as it is, I guess, I did practise a fair bit of favouritism, which is against the college's rules, but if that makes a person better, why not? Why deprive a person of his opportunity to rise? Well, in order to cover up on the practise of "favouritism", I would say very often that my fav cadet is cheeky, but it is the truth. He was cheeky in a way, but in a way that I liked it. Is giving a chance to him unworthy as compared to chances given to the others? Well, he has disappointed me in various tasks, but has still been my favourite cadet i guess. Its weird, cos emotions has taken the better of me! Is this right according to the College Order Book (COB)? Well definitely not! But, if I can influence people to be better Officer of the future, why not? Sigh!
It has often set me wondering if I should ever reveal this web address especially to my people! This blog is my feelings, my everyday life. Yes, I have not updated especially at certain periods, but I do talk about things that happen after. What should I do? sigh!!! I guess, I will just rely on my dreams tonight to decide if I should expose this blog address. One knows that through blogs, one can get into trouble, but I aint the sorta who would keep secrets! Sigh!
Its like 12 days to go before I begin on my final assessment of my Leadership qualities. I requested an appraisal form from my Squadron Senior Officer, and in the report, everything was to my advantage, which made me smile of course. And not just that, many Officers told me that there would not be a problem with me doing my final Leadership assesment; Maritime Leadership Exercise (MARL). Seriously speaking, I would wish that there would not be a problem cause I did face a problem during ACE in my initial entry into the College.
-ciaoz-
fallen @ 7:56 AM
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Wooo, back after a nice weekend! Dublin was AWESOME! it was really nice to travel alone... Haha! Well, i had a hard time finding my way the first night, but all was well. Alot sightseeing, but did not take much pictures. Lotsa museums and all free admission. It was really expensive in Dublin, the living expenses is pretty high. A pint costs almost as much as in singapore, like 10 sing dollars? about 3 quid fifty in UK! pretty great. Went on a pub crawl with hostel people and it was so cool! haha! I think i drank so much and that was where all my money went. Nightlife was particularly good, however, the number of asian there is scary! Which meant that i have lost exoticness (if there is such a word)! haha, self praise again! Surprisingly it was pretty good weather though forecast seemed really bad! all satisfaction was satisfied of course, what more could i ask for? A single man in a foreign land is never good esp for a year! ;P And being there, i have realised how much i miss 2 person. One of them my mum, i guess she would love travelling as much as i do now, but, its all life. The next person is un-named. cannot name! :p Its like, just continuously thinking, and i was surprised how much i missed the person. sigh, but i am a minority here, and i am returning home in 7 weeks time, nothing would be happening i guess. I told myself, this blog would contain nothing more then my life, however, my life now is filled with an emotion, which drives me on through the weeks. The thought of seeing, makes me anxious and beat faster. here is something i though whilst travelling:
Absence makes the heart fonder
This is nothing but a lie
Absence makes the craving stronger
The sense of love
An irregularity of senses
Every moment spent
Is a moment of thought
The thought of nothing
Albeit the confusion of feelings
I now know the true feeling
The feeling of an exotic sin
The feeling of an emotional crush
The feeling of an eratic behaviour
The feeling of an impossible
The feeling that i wretch and enjoy.....
right, picture! no more senseless talks.
-ciaoz-
fallen @ 1:04 AM
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Yay, finally exams are over! Pretty sure that i have passed them without any problems! haha! time to relax especially this weekend in Dublin. And then, it would be slogging for 3 weeks before I noe I am leaving the College without any major issues!
Well, after i updated ytd, I conducted my debrief with my division guys, and i just realise how much i cant bear to let go off them! I do not wanna be a senior to em anymore, just wanna be good friends; if i cant get my emotions sorted! kinda sad! sigh!
-ciaoz-
fallen @ 7:56 AM
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Time flies with a twinkling of an eye. It has been a rough 7 weeks. Being an Co-ordinating Assitant Divisional Officer meant a huge responsibility in ensuring that new Officer Cadets of the Royal Navy are militarized and are officer like. This meaning as an International Cadet, it is a great honour to train someone from the Royal Navy being a completely difference Navy from theirs.
I must admit, though they can be really cheeky, nonetheless, they were one of the best divisions i had. Recalling the times where i said i do not like them, was like lying to myself, and they seem to know about this. It probably aint a mutual feeling (but i think not), but we have all seem to enjoy ourselves.
Whilst they proceed to their next phase, it is kinda hard for me to let them go as they haf just started to learn to "fly". It is just like a parent whose child is going to school for the first time. It is an unbearable feeling to just let them go. These are the guys who really made me laugh so much, cared for so much and just feel so responsible for them. Here are some really unforgettable people:
- Oram (Midi.... Funny... fav cadet)
- Yarker (Midi... Cheeky)
- Bayliss (SCARY)
- Graddon (No comments)
- Thomas (mean... very mean to me)
- Brocklebank (always stressed)
- Hayes (mature, funny)
- Kent (big man)
- Tuckett (the geek)
- Mowthorpe (ooohhh... smoker)
- Withers (proud lil *toot*)
- Unsworth (honest)
- Marshall (observer with zero knowledge)
- Harland (hmm... makes me worry the most)
sigh, this is such a sad post, but!!!!!! I am going home soon in 7 weeks time! That is if i clear my leadership exercise in 3 weeks time! yay! but i am so gonna miss the weather here! Singapore is too HOT!!!!!! Hee..... More exams in an hours time! Sigh.... :: mug mug mug ::
-ciaoz-
fallen @ 9:18 PM
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Erm, been busy as normal! nth nice to blog! will be in Dublin from the 16th - 19th Feb! Travelling alone some more! What else can i ask for? Total freedom! yay! haha! Here is something i cant express properly verbally:
My heart melts when i see you
My face lightens when you smile
My heart implodes when you sit next to me
My face tells everything you need to know
It is your smile that blows me away
I dream of nothing but you every night
They say it is love
But what is love?
Love is nothing but a castastrophe
One must not call it love
It is however - fondness
One that I will remember immaculately!
Righ, no more melancholy nonsense from me! haha! more pics below!
-ciaoz-
fallen @ 11:14 PM
