May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
September 2007
March 2008
December 2008
September 2010

Oh well, I haven posted for ages... I have so much to say and write... somehow... i lost the writing. But recently, reading back all my past posts, i kinda was luffing at myself... haha... this is fun! I promise another post soonz!!!

DAMMIT! THE F**KING INTERNET SUCKS AT SCH! I got disconnected after typing a bloody long post. But its been a while since i last wrote in my blog. Lotsa have happened since July last year and it has changed my whole perception of the human race especially after returning home to singapore during summer.

These happenings are too much to write to begin with where now I have no complete faith and belief in the human race. The human race is a f**king stinking piece of shit, whom are self centred, liars, cheaters, and f**king assholes. I AM REALLY PISSED NOW, BUT HAVE NO WHERE TO VENT MY FRUSTRATIONS! ANOTHER DAY!

- PISSED -

I noe I noe its been thousands of years since i blogged. Alot has been happening to me. Well, lets just say things haven been as smooth sailing as i expected. Family probs and my god-family problem occurred sometime back, but i only found out about it recently. Its just really weird.

Friendship, well, its been making me delirious. All packed together with relationship problem, i duno how to cope. Maybe i have never been a people person, maybe all the belief that I am good at handling relationships with people have just been a hoax to myself.

Sometimes, its just hard when u realise that you like someone, and there are others who like u as well. But aint it always the case, that the person u like do not reciprocate as much, and u realise, the person u use to care as much, u just cant seem to speak to her cos u are afraid of breaking her heart? At times, she being ur confidante, is one that u noe u can speak to her about anything, but some situation just do not allow u to speak to her, for fear of causing her to hate u more. I duno wad to do!

And den u have a partner, whom u think u can speak about anything. so u start sharing exactly how u feel, and one thing which i said that i prolly shouldnt, "maybe i am just unlucky tt i did not noe A earlier", caused a whole load of prob. But if i dun even have feelings for A, den i i noe there shouldnt be a prob, cos I only like D. right? Erm, i duno, i am lost with wad i am saying now.

But when u love a person so much it hurts, u noe tt maybe tt person means e world to u! Someone help me!!!

Its been a while since I last updated, and i just realised that. Alot has been happening of late, emotional and physical duress. Ya, emotional cos because I have been thinking about alot of stuffs - family and other personal stuffs. Physical not because I have been gyming too hard, in fact been gyming slightly lesser den normal. Well, dunno if i have put on weight, but definitely, i have been eating more den usual of late, prolly cos i been eating really lil in the day, so somehow i get really really hungry during dinner. Ya, tt aint a reason to eat so much, but, haha, somehow the appetite is just there! Hmmm, am i going through another phase of puberty? haha... I duno...

i am craving to dive again. Its one that helps me to relax completely, but the weather is jsut starting to turn cooler. Well, its actually only cooler in the night, but I duno if its gonna affect the water temp in the day, cos I definitely cant dive in winter with my 3mm wetsuit can i? Sigh... Cant wait till I can dive again.

Anyway, ya, I am actually left with jsut 2 assignments, 1 of which is due this friday, but I just duno. Though the draft is done, it somehow feels quite short. Its kinda like not much effort placed into it. Its kinda getting into me. I just duno wad is expected of it, though I have been reading the question time and again. And though I have re-written it according to wad my tutor advise, somehow, i just feel its inadequate. Am i being paranoid?

Another of which is due next fri, well, at least I have completed the first half of tt assignment this evening, which was basically summarising my first assignment. Its kinda related assignments. That has been done... Den comes the next difficult part, which probably aint that difficult i guess. But i think as usual, i worry unduly.

my dad supposedly sent me my external harddisk which i sent it home for repair, but somehow, its been 3 weeks and i haven got it back at all! DAMN! there goes like 150 bucks (tts how much it cost and where I asked him to get me a new casing). STUPID AUSSIE! I really hate this place. I have no idea totally why all my colleagues from singapore told me tt i would really enjoy being here, cos I seriously dun! maybe its just brisbane which is so darn boring, or maybe its me. i duno! my mind is in a turmoil now! sigh....

getting really really tired....

-ciaoz-

Well, it aint much of a hectic of late... 2 more MAJOR MAJOR assignments and i be done, but they are tough... really really tough. I am having a hard time understanding the readings... i duno if it is my english that is becoming worse... Nah, its more like its harder to understand den Shakespeare. anyway my insomnia aint getting any better, maybe tts e cause of my low concentration span.... but, life goes on! results been good so far, less these 2 major assignments... i am worried... getting stressed from the insomnia.. not good

-yawning-

ya, its been a while!!! IMSOMNIA of late! I cant take it anymore! going crazy!!!

-ciaoz-

ah... am pretty stoned up in class now... its totally like a course that I have done in poly! sheez... how boring... with the lecturer speaking so slowly as well, i feel like am gonna die sooN! haha! spent the last few days rushing thru an assignment that I have totally no interest in! its worth 40% and i duno if i am able to get a GPA of at least 5 for it. My gut feel is I may not be able to achieve it! sigh... Oh class is very empty as well! Hmmm, maybe I should not attend this lecture afterall, but its expensive! For 1 semester, it cost AUD2060!!! So of cos m attend and take notes.


in front of me!!!


Behind me with bad photography... can see my own sleeve! buahahaha

But whats good is I got back an assignment so far, and I got a high distinction for it! Hmmm, i think tmr I will get another back, i so hope that I would get at least a distinction as well! Sigh... Fingers crossed! alright, i think i shall carry on being good and listen to more lecture though its repeated information!

-ciaoz-

Well, went to straddie island over the weekend to dive! Was alright, i tot malaysia and thailand sites were better! But its my form of relaxation, though an expensive one! Oh well, here are the things i saw, not my video, but what I saw though


Wobbegong Shark


Leopard Shark


Box Fish


Eagle Ray

Saw other stuffs like a weird crab which looks like a spider as well, was very colourful, and no i duno wad tt was... no one knew! Sigh... erm, reef octopus, white tip and black tips, hawksbill turtle, loads of puffer, GIANT CRAYFISH, nudibranches which I dunno the name as well, but alot which I have nv seen before...

Was a cold weekend though! Yupz, and something I wanna say to someone. "sorry, I was an ass, and I should not have been so mean... I am sorry, i felt so bad, tt I actually cried".

Oh well....

-ciaoz-

It has been a long time... Been a while, been an emotional period as well... Was sick and grouchy for a few days in the week. I guess it really was the change of weather! Oh well... An emotional period cos I been starting to miss home, miss my work place and maybe someone??? I duno, this afternoon I was just thinking if I have gotten over the person, but I dun think so...

Its been a hard time, and considering the amount of care and concern I had for the person, its just kinda hard on me! I duno why I cant forget as well... I always tot myself stronger, but maybe I am not. Maybe it is a good thing tt I am here now in Australia.

Ytd went shopping, did alot of shopping but maybe it aint enuff! I tot I would be a happier person, but maybe not! Today, just had ppl pissing me off... It sucks! Why must such things happen? I cannot cry, a man dun cry! I have to be stronger! I have to get over the persoN!

-hurt-

"China on Thursday denied involvement with an engineer on trial in the United States on charges of attempting to steal US military secrets and called allegations of Chinese espionage "groundless".

"We have reiterated many times that the so-called stealing of US military secrets is groundless and the accusations are due to ulterior motives," foreign ministry spokesman Qin Gang told a regular press briefing, without elaborating.

Prosecutors in the trial of Chi Mak, a US citizen born in southern China, said Wednesday he attempted to smuggle out information on a secret technology to make US submarines silent.

China wanted the data to help in its drive to retake Taiwan, assistant US attorney Greg Staples said as the trial got under way in Santa Ana, California.

Staples said the sensitive data on a computer disk Mak tried to provide China through his brother included information on under-development Quiet Electric Drive technology to make submarines silent.

China's navy "is supportive of the re-taking of Taiwan (and) the chief impediment to retaking Taiwan is the 7th fleet of the US Navy," Staples said as the trial got underway.

The Chinese navy particularly needs to be able to find US submarines, he said.

"And that is why the Quiet Electric Drive is important."

But Mak's lawyer said he was only sharing information with other scientists and engineers.

"It's a case about technology exchange," Marilyn Bednarski told the jury.

"Scientists and engineers get information from each other and work in a sharing way," she said.

"If someone shares something that's not export-controlled or if someone does and doesn't know it, it's not a violation of the law."

The 66 year old engineer, born in Guangdong, China, was arrested in 2005 with his wife at his California home.

He had given an encrypted disk with the submarine and other data to his brother Tai Mak, who was arrested with his wife at the same time as they tried to board a flight in Los Angeles to China carrying the disk.

Tai Mak's son Billy was then indicted last year related to his help in encrypting the disk.

Chi Mak is charged with illegally acting as an agent of China in the United States in exporting weapons-related technology without an appropriate export license. He is also charged with making false statements.

But Mak, who has denied the charges, has not been charged with espionage, because the information on the disk was not officially classified.

In the trial Wednesday, prosecutor Staples said Mak, who worked at engineering firm and defense contractor Power Paragon in Anaheim, California, rejected the defense claim that because the data was not classified, Mak was free to exchange it with Chinese.

Staples said that Mak had been given intensive instruction in how to handle both classified and sensitive information, and that he should have applied first to the State Department for an export license.

He said Mak admitted he had been passing technology to China for over 23 years, explaining that he "wanted to help China."

The prosecutor painted a picture of China's strategy to collect vast amounts of US information bit by bit, like "a thousand grains of sand."

To do so China depends "on the loyalty and patriotism of Chinese who live here or come here to study or teach," he said.

But Bednarski said the government was exaggerating the Chinese threat.

"The case is about an alarmist over-reaction. The case is about misconceptions and prejudice," she said.

Bednarski said Mak worked only on the earliest phase of the quiet submarine system, that it has never been tested, and that he planned to retire before the system design was completed.

"He was not an agent for the Chinese government.""

The above was an article I read just now on !Yahoo news! Damn interesting man!!! I definitely believe the act of espionage has been committed. Man, if there were no intentions of smuggling classified information, why should the disk be encrypted??? Or rather, as Mak claimed, it is a sharing of information, has been been providing information of China's Navy to the US??? Hmmm, though this has not been published in the article, I am pretty sure the answer is "no".

But can one say the US is not at fault as well??? Well, probably I would not because they did not list a classification on it! So it a lil kind of their fault for not safe keeping the knowledge! But man, I can argue on it at all... What one can argue from this lil knowledge is on moral issues.

It is definitely morally wrong to try to pass information to another country, or rather your mother country! I remember when I was in UK for training, I was very careful with the things i said, just as I am in Aus now, there are just somethings that cannot be discussed openly... Ya, i mean though i was discussing the salary issue, that does not have much classification because I was discussing it with other Officers! Hmmm, maybe I am wrong... But it is definitely true that our military forces are so underpaid in comparison with other countries' navies. But oh well, cest la vie...

-ciaoz-

UQ helps to keep an eye on the state of coral reefs


The University of Queensland is backing a program aimed at tracking the health of coral reefs around the world.

CoralWatch is a program based around a cheap, simple and non-invasive method for the monitoring of coral bleaching, and assessment of coral health.

Initially funded by UQ Vice-Chancellor Professor John Hay, AC, through his Strategic Initiatives Fund, Professor Hay has allocated more funding this year to increase the reach of the project from the Great Barrier Reef to reefs around the world.

Developed by Professor Justin Marshall, from UQ's Vision Touch and Hearing Research Centre, he said CoralWatch had grown into an important resource of coral health data since the organisation was established in 2001.

“Our Coral Health Chart is basically a series of sample colours, with variation in brightness representing different stages of bleaching or recovery, based on controlled experiments,” Professor Marshall said.

“The charts can be used by anyone – scientists, school children, tourists even politicians.

“In the field, people simply compare colours of corals with colours on the chart and record matching codes.

“It is our aim to both provide a scientific tool and increase awareness about global warming by demonstrating one of its devastating effects.”

Professor Hay said the CoralWatch program was a great example of university research that could be applied in a simple way to benefit the wider community.

“Reefs around the world are a valuable asset that needs to be monitored and cherished,” Professor Hay said.

“By supporting such an important program we hope to help, in small way, to preserve these natural wonders for future generations.”

Professor Marshall said there were already 650 groups involved in monitoring reef around the world and he hoped to get the educational kits out to 15,000 schools in the near future.

The CoralWatch program is also supported by Sustainable Tourism Cooperative Research Centre and recently formed a partnership with Project AWARE, a non-profit environmental organisation dedicated to conserving underwater environments through education, advocacy and action.

Project AWARE works in partnership with PADI (Professional Association of Diving Instructors), the world's largest diver training organization, and will distribute the CoralWatch kits to divers and dive centres around the world to further develop awareness of reef issues worldwide.

-ciaoz-

Oh, another week went by... This weekend no clubbing! Not good for health! In fact, the whole week I been sleeping about 3am, cos doing readings preparing for assignments. I think I should finish each assignment in about a day now, since I have most of the information. Anyway, went out for supper last night! Haha, DIM SUM!!! Actually was not too enthusiastic cos Dim Sum for Supper??? Sounded kinda weird, but went anyway. Haha! It was located at Logan, erm, somewhere quite far from where I am. Eh, but Mr Nice "Zander" drove us there! Haha! I WAN A CAR TOO!!! :(


Zander - I think he is a photo whore! HA


Me! arghz...


Erm, someone who wanted to be anonymous


haven had chinese tea for a while!!!


Char Siew Siu and Egg Tart!!! Both damn good!


Chicken Feet, a lil not too cooked! Quite tough


He is enjoying it, i had a picture, but not as nice as Zander's


All served together... Red bean pancake and siew mai


Siew Mai... Hmm not too good...


Har Gao (prawn dumpling) eh, aint too good... very bland


Beancurd skin with prawn - good but oily...


Century Egg porridge, two bowls


Cannot finish, ended up bringing it back

yupz, tts about it for supper, very full... And I managed to get jessie number! Haha, spoke to her on the phone last night, very funny!!! Haha, missed her man! Alright... going to the gym shortly to burn all of those food from last night! :)

-ciaoz-

Its been a while since I last posted I think. Yupz, things going on a lil well... Cant say it aint going well can I since I am still alive and kicking. All the admin things are done, meaning that I just got the money from MINDEF and my reimbursements. Haha... I got shocked when I went into my bank account and saw a $**,*** amount. Wah, I haven seen such a huge amount of money for a long time. However, haha, of which, at least $10,000 goes to the next semester school fees. Sigh... So sad eh!!!

How I wish all these money is for my living expenses and just for spending!!! Wah, sure damn happy, be out shopping almost everyday!!! BUT STUDENT!!!! Must study... Hmmm, trying to keep in mind. That meaning that I am trying very hard not to be tempted to buy the coming release of PS3... So uber cool man. I played it at a store the other day, the graphics and everything... Wah, so nice!!!

Well, the silicon key pad protector on my keyboard makes me type damn slow! So not used to it... But den I dun wan my keyboard to be out of colour and with gross shiny layers that is grime and all... Yaya, i noe this is so not related to the top 2 paras.

Talking about paras, i already have like 4 assignments due before 18 apr... Sigh... I feel quite miserable cos of which, one I totally do not understand it... Am actually here waiting for the lecturer to begin his lecture. A lil bit miserable... Not used to being a student!!! I envy working back home. Haha... Life is damn cool when u work, money comes in, u feel a sense of achievement, and ya, i noe, u get the sense of achievement when u do ur assignments and get ur results back.

I was just at my poly classmates engagement party on sat and she showed me her academic transcipt. Wah, makes me feel quite pressurized... I duno if i can do as well as she did... Haha... Did not calculate her avg gpa or prob i did not see it, but am sure she should be able to qualify for honours!!! I wan my honours though I do not wan much to stay here. Everyone was like its so fun and all, its alright. Livable. I think UK was so much better... Oh well... Beginning life I guess. Things be fine.

So back to assigments, hmm, just worried about it already! Haha!!! Alright, better stop writing already. Think lecturer should be in here any time soon.

-ciaoz-

This song is not the best to describe my feelings now... But I duno, some self reflection i guess... Self reflection with tears... sigh

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything up to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It's makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for that day when they will care

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It's makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
'Cuz baby I can't sleep

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It's makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

-sighing-

There are many things that i dun wanna noe. I think the recent days has been a turmoil. Ya, emotionally unstable. I dun wanna believe some things tt i am to know or hear. I just dun wanna noe things. Can i take the opportunity to just forget everything and just forget that some people even exist??? Can I??? I asked myself this months back, but i know till now, i could not. I cried.... It sucks crying man! A fren said to me just now, "DRAMA". Ya, i noe drama, but when ur heart breaks and u start to tear, u just cant help it can u??? IT SUCKS!

The best remedy, brain wash, or just give the brain some electrical stimuli like house did to make his patient forget about the woman he loves. I need this electrical stimuli from house. I need a new beginning. Can i really get it???

-crying-